Introduction

You’re already near the exit — but it feels like a bridge without railings.

You catch moments when the world feels real again. You can laugh. You start to feel things. Sometimes you even forget about DPDR. But then — a flash of fear: “What if it comes back? What if it was only for a minute?”

This isn’t a failure. It’s a test. This is how recovery works. The brain is "testing" — checking if it’s safe to feel again.

Quiet and clear

What’s happening

You’re at the edge. Perception flickers — coming back, then dimming again. And that's normal. It means your nervous system is checking for stability.

This isn’t a relapse. It’s learning.

Calmly

What’s important to understand

  • Your brain isn’t trying to scare you. It’s adapting.
  • In these moments, fear can trigger the old protection mode — and DPDR sensations may resurface.
  • But the less you fear these “waves,” the faster they settle.

You’re not fighting against life anymore — you’re learning how to move through it.

Valuable actions

What to do in this phase

✔  Don’t get stuck in checking.
→ The more you "check if it’s gone," the more you pull yourself back.

✔ Practice “letting it be unimportant.”
→ Remind yourself: “I don’t need to feel perfect. I just need to exist.”
→ Even if it feels strange right now — it’s not failure. It’s just a wave.



Allow the fluctuation


Fear of a setback often triggers the setback itself.

  • So — let it be. Feel like a wave is rising? Say to yourself: “Alright. I see it. I won’t resist it.”
  • Then do one simple action: pour some water, look out the window.
  • Don’t analyze it. Just give yourself two quiet minutes of being.
Anchor yourself


When it feels unstable inside — find something stable outside.

  • Stand barefoot, or firmly plant your feet on the ground.
  • Place your palms on your chest.
  • Say to yourself: “I’m standing. The floor holds me. That’s enough.”

The fact that you're afraid of falling back is a sign that you’re already on the other side. Now the task isn’t to "keep it away" — it’s to stop fearing the waves.

 

Sometimes everything feels almost normal.
I can laugh. Work.
Even feel like myself again.

And then, suddenly —
a shift.

Not panic.
But a quiet, uneasy thought:
“What if it’s coming back?”

I know I’m better.
But that fear...
it whispers:
“What if it was just a moment of clarity?”

At first, I kept checking:
“Am I okay now?”
“Was that DPDR again?”
“Should I worry?”

But slowly, I realized —
this is not a relapse.
It’s just the ripple
as I step closer to solid ground.

I’m learning not to fear the ripple.
Not to fight it.
Not to check.

Sometimes I just stand.
Feel the floor.
Touch the wall.
And say:
“I’m here. Even if it fades again.”

And that’s enough.

I’m not trying to hold on to normal.
I’m learning to not fear losing it.

 



With respect and warmth,  
Serge

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Recovery doesn’t move in a straight line.
It breathes — like an inhale, and then silence.
Your work isn’t to hold your breath — it’s to not be afraid of the exhale.

And if you need support along the way — we offer two gentle forms of guidance: a book that resonates, and an AI companion that guides.

→ Learn more